New Beginnings

Well I ate like crap today, but it actually turned out to be a pretty good day.

After work, my boyfriend came over to pick me up so we could go run the Big Dam Bridge (the pedestrian bridge that goes over the Arkansas River). We walked it with his cousin the other night, and I had told him earlier in the day that I was thinking we could run it tonight. But then I had an extremely long and stressful day at work. I'd eaten horribly and I just wanted to do nothing. So he literally had to drag me out of my apartment kicking and screaming...or at least whining.

But I'm so glad he did. It was such a pretty night, not even humid. We parked near the river by my apartment and walked to the bridge, a way I'd never gone before. We're not totally sure (I'm going to figure out the road name and map it), but we're estimating the road to the bridge was about 1.5 miles one way. The bridge is just over .8 miles one way. So round trip, we went 4.6 miles. We alternated running and walking, but did a decent amount of running. Especially since we're just getting started in the fitness routine again. I'm so glad we went. Not only did we get some good exercise, but we got to talk a lot, taste some honeysuckles along the way, and watch a really pretty sunset. So much better than staying in and watching a movie!

I tried to explain to him why I felt so reluctant to go, but I don't think he quite understood it. I don't really blame him since it's very illogical. But beyond just feeling tired, I always feel this fear of running when I haven't done it in a long time. Like I won't be able to do it anymore. Or at least, not nearly as long or as fast as I used to. And for some reason, that just makes me dread going. I guess it just brings to light how out of shape I've gotten or how far I've fallen, and I'd rather be in denial than actually face it. It's stupid, I know. And the only way to fix it is to get back in shape again. But it's hard.

Anyway, I feel really good about tonight. I still feel like I need to push myself more, but I know I'll get there. And (at least right now) I feel very motivated to eat well tomorrow. So hopefully that feeling will last through the night.

I'll post tomorrow. Good night.