Today started off not so great, then sort of turned around and I was feeling pretty good. But then it all came crashing down, and I'm not even exactly sure why....
I slept horribly again last night. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've had a lot of sleepless nights in the last month or so, and when I do sleep, it's rarely a good or deep sleep. Maybe it's because I have too much on my mind. I don't know. But it sucks. I'm thinking about getting some over the counter sleeping pills, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, so I woke up feeling shitty - tired and frustrated, but also really dehydrated and with a headache. Despite all of this, I still got up and went running. I promised myself I was going to go, and I was not about to get back on here and admit that I had slacked off yet again. Roundtrip I went 4.6 miles, which I alternated walking and running (but mostly running). I felt much better after I ran, physically and mentally. I also did some weight training and ab exercises when I got home. I feel like I'm in that mindset that only seems to come along once in a while, where I am really motivated to do this. Yay.
After that, I went to work. Ended up having to open and close lunch, but I'm glad I did because otherwise I wouldn't have made much money at all. So leaving work, I felt pretty good. I made decent money, and got a really good guest compliment, which then led to one of the managers talking about how much she loved me. Pretty awesome!
After work, hung out with one of my roommates and our friend who is in town for a bit. Then we went to see our other roommate in an improv show. I felt pretty good because my day went really well, but slowly throughout the night I just got in kind of a depressed mood. Not exactly sure why....part of it was that they were drinking and I was not (which was a victory, btw!), so I was getting a little annoyed being the only sober one. But I also talked to an old friend from home. He was giving me some advice, which was good, but also kind of made me feel more confused about everything going on in my life than I was before. And I was pretty damn confused before, so that's saying something. I just don't even know how to sort it all out. And I feel like maybe one day I'll have some kind of gut instinct and just know what to do, but what if I don't? On top of all of that, there were other things going on; such as getting texts that I wanted, but that also sort of made me feel worse. And seeing things on Facebook that, although they may not really matter anymore, just kind of pour salt in my wounds. I don't know. My mood just kind of crashed....
But to try to sum up the good things - I exercised and stuck to my diet - although, I probably didn't eat enough because I was working most of the day and then didn't have much time before leaving for the show. Oh well. I guess that's still better than eating too much.
I am off to bed. Please, sleep gods - bestow a miracle upon me tonight. I really need it. If for no other reason, just to escape from everything for a while. Crossing my fingers.
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