...unfortunately, that's not in terms of weight loss. Ugh.
I suck at life. I'm an idiot. I can give myself all of the usual insults. I just can't get myself together right now. In ANY aspect of my life, it seems. I feel completely out of sorts. Like I'm on vacation or on a really long layover at the airport. I keep having to remind myself, this isn't temporary (at least not in terms of the very near future). This is my life. I don't know. I guess I haven't had much time to process it all. I've pretty much been working or traveling nonstop since I moved back, so I've had very little time to let it all sink in. Hopefully this weekend will serve as some time to clear my head and get myself together.
I ended up grading all night last night, so no workout. I also haven't had a chance to go to the grocery store because of that, so I haven't been eating very healthy. Truth be told, I'm just not quite in the right place yet and I think I need to clear my head and process everything before I will be. I'm trying to forgive myself for that. I'm probably going to spend the majority of the week trying to pull myself back together. And sadly, I know eating healthy and exercising will help with that a LOT, but I just can't quite get there yet. It's ok. I will. Or at least that's what I'll keep telling myself....
Don't be so hard on yourself, Em! It's only been a couple weeks - you'll get settled soon. Don't worry. I know a little bit how you feel - when I came back from Arizona it was so surreal, it was like I was watching someone else live my life. I felt like I didn't quite fit in with my friends anymore, I was back to working for my dad so I was a little lost there 'cause I didn't have a "real" job, and I just kind of felt like I was floating in limbo. It took a couple months, but I finally started feeling normal and "home" again. You'll get there!
ReplyDeleteI love you and I have faith in you! You can always call me if you ever need to just vent!
Thanks, Jess. I really appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteIt just sucks because I'm watching all the weight loss progress I made slip away, and I feel like ever day I'm getting further and further from where I was. So I'm definitely putting a lot of pressure on myself to get back on track, but at the same time, in the midst of everything, I just don't feel like I can do it yet.
But hopefully soon!