My head is a total mess. I feel like tonight was me rebelling from everything. But I still love the things I'm rebelling from. I just don't know what I want, and even if I can decide I do want those things, I don't know that I can have them anyway.
I didn't eat well today. I didn't work out. I feel like I'm so far from where I was that it's hard to get motivated to move forward. Even if I lost 5 pounds in this very minute, I'd still be so far from where I was. It's just a little depressing and overwhelming, I guess. But unless I'm ready to give up completely, I have no other choice but to move forward. So I have to find it in me somewhere. If I could only turn back time.
I think the whole move was understandably disorienting. To go from a place that is always warm and fairly flat and great for running to a place that just...isn't...is difficult. To go from a place that really values thinness to a place that values fried food is incredibly difficult. You'll adjust. You'll find your stride. I believe in ya, and I can't wait to see you on Thursday!
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