Emotional Wreck

Today was a very tough day. I knew it was going to be long, but it also ended up being really stressful and emotional.

I got up at 6 and went running. OMG. The sun was barely up when I started, it was about 40 degrees, and my hands were numb the entire time. And yet, I had broken a sweat by the end of it. I figure that's a good testament to my workout if I can be sweating in 40 degree weather! And I'm pretty proud of myself because when my alarm went off, I didn't even consider not getting up for a second. I didn't have time to do my ab exercises, so I'm going to do them when I finish this.

So I actually felt really good at the beginning of my day. As much as it sucked getting up that early, the workout definitely made me feel very awake and ready to get started. I had a meeting at work and then had to work the lunch shift. It started out ok, but then we got slammed. Our restaurant is pretty small, so there's generally only 2 or 3 servers on at a time. It's usually ok, but when we're packed like that, it means we are each constantly getting double and triple sat and as soon as you start to recover from that (or maybe even before), it happens again. So it's really hard to keep everything together and stop yourself from getting stressed. On top of that, sometimes the managers don't seem to get why we're all so stressed and running around like crazy. So it just really annoyed me today because I felt like the manager was looking at me like "why can't you handle this?" And not that I did horribly, but I made some mistakes and just didn't feel that great about it, but at the same time, I feel like I had legitimate reasons to not be serving every table perfectly. So I was just kind of pissed off about the whole situation, plus lack of sleep really hit me hard in the middle of it all and I felt like I could barely even think. So I left work feeling crappy (although I at least made some decent money). Then I had the photo shoot, which I was dreading. All I wanted to do was go home and chill out for the rest of the day. But instead, I had about 45 minutes to go home, eat something, and get my stuff together for the shoot. I seriously considered rescheduling.

I'm glad I went though. It was a fun shoot and I think I got some good pictures. I was so exhausted by the end of it though.

Other than the stress from work, I was just very emotional today. I'm sure being really tired didn't help that. I didn't really anticipate how much more homesick I was going to feel just because of the holiday coming up and especially knowing that everyone's in Arkansas (or headed there soon) and I'm not. I just miss everyone there so much anyway, so add the holiday traditions and the cousins I don't see very often, and it's a bit overwhelming. I cried for the first time in a while today.

All in all though, I'm ok. Kind of dreading work in the morning, but I'm determined to have a better shift. And after that, I'm free for the rest of the day and off on Thanksgiving. Yay.

Breakfast: Oatmeal. Lunch: Tuna, carrots, and goat cheese. Dinner: Sweet potato and green beans. Snacks: Cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, peanut butter, and cashews.

It was really difficult to get all of my calories in because I was gone 90% of the day. Plus, I ran out of a lot of my food yesterday and this morning, so I pretty much only had vegetables and fruits, which made it really difficult to add calories quickly! I got to almost 1500, which I hope is good enough. I don't want to eat too little and screw it up!

Off to do my ab exercises and then SLEEP! Good night.