Another day over with. All in all, it was pretty good. I was supposed to work tonight, but yesterday one of the servers asked if she could pick up my shift. After the week I had at work, I just didn't even want to be there. Last night was a little better, but still some things happened with the boss and I just had this constant feeling of being on edge because I felt like he was watching my every move. Ugh. So the idea of having an extra night off sounded wonderful. I'm off tomorrow, too. Hopefully I can re-focus myself and pull my emotions together so I'll feel better when I go back to work on Sunday. Sometimes I wish I could just escape myself and become another person...someone who doesn't get into these situations. I guess I just feel like I suck at life most of the time. And kind of more lately because I just feel like my emotions and my mind have been so scattered since I've been here. I just don't quite feel like myself and it's starting to interfere in my job and my life.
With my unexpected two day break, I would have given anything to be close enough where I could drive home for a visit. :( I even looked to see how much a flight would be. If only I had an extra $800 lying around....
I had an audition for a play this afternoon. Even though it lasted all of one minute, it felt so good to be on stage. It's been way too long. Unfortunately, the way most theatres work out here, you basically have to pay for the tickets up front and then you can sell them. But if you don't sell them, you're stuck paying for them. So I can't really afford to do it even if I get the part. Blah.
Other than that, I pretty much spent the day reading and relaxing. I wasn't really in the mood to work out tonight, but there wasn't even a little part of me that felt like maybe I could skip it. It's starting to become more of a routine, which is really good. I ran my usual route, but I guess I went faster than I normally do (I felt like I was going really slow!), so I ended up going a little further - probably about another quarter or half a mile.
Food was good, too. Breakfast - a bagelthin with cream cheese and a bowl of raspberries. Morning snack - strawberries. Lunch - a turkey burger (no bun) with spinach, tomato, and an egg on top (just decided to add it to make the burger more interesting. Delicious and really filling!) and some carrots that I sprayed with a little oil cooking spray and baked in the oven to be kind of like fries. They pretty much still tasted like carrots, but kind of still gave me the feeling of eating something like fries or chips. Not bad. For dessert I had some more raspberries and one of those Pillsbury brownie bites (60 calories). Dinner - grilled chicken topped with mushrooms, onions, and a little cheddar cheese and some cooked carrots. Evening snacks - a few more of the brownie bites with a cup of milk, and a bagelthin with a Tbsp of peanut butter.
I feel pretty good about my meals for the last two days or so. I think I've been doing pretty well at having balanced meals that include protein, vegetables, a little fat, and usually some complex carbs. I probably need to try to start eating more throughout the day. I've been ending up with a lot of calories left after dinner, which is kind of nice because it means I can splurge a little on some snacks, but I should probably try not to eat so much so late.
I feel like I'm definitely starting to see some results. I wore some pants today that I used to wear to work all the time in Arkansas. They are kind of high waisted, so they were pretty tight, especially when I was sitting at my desk. But today they felt really loose and roomy! Yay!
Well that's it for tonight. I hope everyone has a good weekend.
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